In the Morning Light
by ThunderStorm-8
Summary: ...I loose you. Hinamori is finally released from the Fourth Division's care after Aizen nearly kills her, all she needs now is a little help, but she'll be borrow Hitsugaya's help much more than she expected. Chp5 up EDITED, angst
1. Released and Rediscovered

There was something so unique about the morning light

Well, my Sakura/Kakashi fic kind of went to the pits, and I've been addicted to this couple lately so…

I own nothing

Please visit my art site for Hitsu/Hina fanart as well as other bleach and anime: paintbrushplushi Deviantart com. Just assume that where there's a space you put a o.o

o:o:o:o:

There was something so unique about the morning light; something so soft and gentle and yet still sometimes so foreboding or unwanted. With the break of day came several distinguished little details that lingered quietly over the lazy few hours before the harsh sun of noontime revealed its face. Details like the grateful songs of the birds and the contrasting general quiet of the human population, the faint scent of a few early risers' tea and breakfast, and the slight chill still lingering from the night before.

A slight chill, just like the lingering iciness upon her fingers after a certain someone had held that hand.

Hinamori gave a sigh of exasperation and boredom. Her anemic expression spoke novels on the subject of her mood incase that particularly dramatic sigh wasn't enough.

She turned her head on the pure white hospital pillow, focusing her eyes on the garden of the Fourth Division's back yard and the way the light from the waking sun played tricks with its colors. Sadly, she concluded her early morning philosophy; 'It doesn't really matter…'

Her regrettably warm and empty hand clenched at her side weakly. All this thinking meant nothing if there was no one to share her epiphanies with, and Toshirou had been usually evasive lately. Sinking back into a more relaxed state, Hinamori couldn't help the tears swelling out the corner of her eyes. They were not tears of sadness or fatigue but simply the tears that eyes cry when they have nothing else to do.

The brown haired shinigami began to recall all the, very reasonable, reasons why her long time friend was refraining from seeing her. With ever beat of her aching, broken heart she regretted the cruel words she'd said to him that night and the during their last conversation.

_Please…Save Aizen-Taicho…._

What kind of friend says that to someone who almost lost their life fighting against Aizen?

What hurt most bitterly was that, deep inside, Hinamori was faced with the reality that some small, hopeful part of her still wanted to believe that insane, insomnia induced plea. And all the while the majority of her had come to terms with the brutal betrayal and was trying to move past it. However, that majority was subject to something worse than hopeful despair. Which was…effectively…just plain despair.

A noise across the room made the young girl tilt her head forward half-heartedly to investigate.

It was only Isane.

The silver headed shinigami healer smiled cheerfully as she did every morning for Hinamori. "Good morning. You're up pretty early."

Somehow, she couldn't muster the strength to smile back, but replied with as much heart as she could. "Ah. I've been sleeping a lot lately, and at odd hours."

"You don't have to remind me." Isane's smile was followed by a friendly chuckle as she set the tray of breakfast down. "Say, I've got good news though."

"M?" Hinamori's eyes sparkled for a glimmering second with the hope that her best friend would be the subject of the good news.

"Unohana -taicho said you could return to your home today."

A small pang tugged at the kind healer's heartstrings as she watched that hopefull light in Hinamori's eyes die away.

"Oh, that's good…Thank you." She hesitated for just a little bit, pausing at 'oh' before quickly moving on so as not to worry her friend too much.

Isane let a puff of air come silently from her lungs. 'What can I do to cheer you up?' "Oh!" The ice in the water glass sparked an idea. Suddenly there was a bright smile lighting across Isane's pretty features and Hinamori quickly became curious as to why. "Of course, because you're recovering from such a serious injury it wouldn't do to let you go alone, so we're sending you with an escort."

"Who?" The inquisitive sparkle in those big brown eyes was victory enough.

"Guess!"

:o:o:o:o:o:o

It didn't take much to arrange for Hitsugaya, Captain of the tenth division and child prodigy, to take time out of his busy schedule to come down and personally escort Lieutenant Hinamori back to her dwellings.

At first he was a bit reluctant, but after some egging from his own Lieutenant and Isane's mention of 'she asked for you' he was off at a fast pace towards the Healer Shinigami's Headquarters.

Insane peered her head in first—"Is it alright, Hinamori?"

"E-Y-yes! I'm ready." Actually, she still had to wrestle with her obi and flatten down her robes before Toshirou entered, all done at a fast and clumsy speed but was accomplished non-the less.

His entry could only be described as nervous, slightly cautious, and overflowing with relief.

To see her standing again, to see the brown eyes without the black bags holding back their beauty, and most importantly to see her acting "momo"-ish again was exactly what Hitsugaya needed.

He gave her a smirk to make her feel better, not willing to risk a full out smile, and hoped she looked up from her cloths long enough to see it.

She did, and that friendly smirk made her wary for just a moment before Hinamori answered back with the most cheerful expression she'd had all week.

Isane handed the Very Important Escort a small bag with a few things for Hinamori to take home with her. He slung it over his shoulder, leaving it nestled close to his zanpakuto.

The pair turned to leave just as the Fourth Division Captain entered through a back way door. Not forgetting everything the kind woman had done for her, and Hitsugaya, HInamori took a moment to stop, bow low, and give her thanks.

Unohana smiled gracefully and waved the complements away. "Do not worry about it, Hinamori. I'm simply glad you are feeling well again. Do not forget about your medicine though, and I'll expect to see you back at least one more time for a final diagnosis."

"Right!" Now that Shiro-chan was with her again, now that she was finally going to start living her life again, Hinamori felt like she could give out more and more happy faces to the people she loved.

With that, she turned to meet Hitsugaya at the door where he had been patiently waiting for her, silently sending his own deep set thanks to Unohana as well.

As they left, the silver headed Lieutenant turned to her Captain and asked. "Do you really thing she's well enough to leave?"

The Taicho was silent for just a moment before answering wisely. "Any longer in this room, and her spirit would have been injured beyond our repair. What happens to her body now is up to her."

:o:o:o:o:o

Although it was a menial distance from the fourth division to her own room near the academy Hinamori felt an unusual weight in her step. Her breath was not coming easily, and she suspected that it was from lying in bed too many consecutive days.

However, no matter now great her instinct to stumble and waver became Hinamori hid it, banishing her weakness away from the concerned eyes of her best friend. She knew that if he suspected, even the slightest bit, that she was in no condition to live by herself that he would send her right back to the hospital and, as much as she enjoyed the company of the kind people there, she had plans to stay right where she was. Hinamori wanted the comfort of her old life, the way it had been…minus Aizen. She wanted to be free to see 'Shiro-chan' whenever she wanted. She wanted the freedom to walk around whenever she wanted without someone having to escort her.

So she sucked in all the aches and pains of an unused body until she'd been safely delivered home.

"Hinamori…" He started when they reached her door, unsure how to pose the question without insulting her. "…are you…ano." His frustration with his lack of eloquence began to rise. "That is…Will you be alright? Being here on your own."

The young girl took her eyes away from her overwhelmingly nostalgic room long enough to answer him; "Well, I was hoping to have a bath, but it would be mean to make Hitsugaya-kun wait."

He blinked rapidly, his turquoise eyes fluttering with desperately hidden embarrassment at the mere thought of the girl before him naked in hot, steaming water. "Y-you haven't eaten lately, have you?"

"No, not since breakfast." It was less than noon.

"Then." Hitsugaya managed to regain his 'Captain's voice', as he suggested a situation that would make them both happy. "You go ahead with your bath and I'll…find someone to bring some food."

For the first time in a much too long Toshirou heard Momo's pearled laughter, saw it creeping into even the deepest parts of her well worn visage, and felt an old weight and worry lift a few inches from his shoulders.

"You still can't cook, can you Shiro-chan?"

"That's Hitsugaya Taicho!" However, despite his grumpy sounding correction Toshirou was smiling with the best expression of happiness he had had in quite a while. Like Hinamori, happiness had become a rarity, a luxury he didn't feel he deserved or had the time to indulge.

A few moments passed with nothing but laughter, giggles, and smiles between the slow and unreal seeming seconds before the two old friends parted ways temporarily; Hinamori to her bath and Hitsugaya to find Matsumoto.

:o:o:o:o:

As the water came pouring vigorously out of the spout and tumbling around her Hinamori let out a soft sigh of content and pleasure. The healing liquid surrounded her, beginning to fill the light pink tub, and while it and the salts she'd added began to do their job Hinamori reminisced casually on a conversation she'd had with Mastumoto ages ago.

"_Ne, Matsumoto-san! Isn't this much better than spending your night out drinking with the boys?" She had asked innocently as the two sat in the public hot springs of the Soul Society bathhouse._

"_Mmm…" The well endowed woman hummed. "It is nice, but I prefer a man any day." As she said this the Lieutenant of the Tenth division lifted a soft, pale leg from the water and inspected it in the moonlight._

'I don't know what _you_ were thinking Matsumoto-san, but I don't see how a man could be better than this.' Hinamori concluded happily as she sank deeper into the water. 

Just when she was beginning to relax, an odd and unexpected twinkling in her rooftop made Hinamori gaze upward. She squinted, not sure what to make of the sudden appearance. As if the shining thing might respond, Momo called out to it. "Hello?" Getting no reply, she stood up, almost in a trance, and began to reach for the light.

Upward her thin fingers stretched, but just as she was about to grasp it the fatigue and hard effort she'd put into walking all this way caught up with her and the brown haired shinigami fell backwards with a muffled gulp of a scream.

"Hinamori! I'm coming in!" Hitsugaya Taicho warned before entering the apartment. In his hands were two bowls of soba. He looked around and did not see her, thinking she must still be in the bath.

Before he could make a comment about 'women and their soaks' his trained ears caught the sound of a protesting scream and a sickening 'thumkluuuush.'

"…HINAMORI!"


	2. Embaressement x's 2

Histugaya Toshiro did not hesitate to charge full speed into Hinamori's bathroom after hearing the undesirable sound of a body

I own nothing but a car, a few sock bunnies, and this computer.

…

alright, you got me, I also own some dishes, but the point is I don't own bleach

…

damn…

:o:o:o:o:o:o

Hitsugaya Toshiro did not hesitate to charge full speed into Hinamori's bathroom after hearing the undesirable sound of a body falling hard against a wall and then into the water. However, once inside, he wavered for a mere moment when his vibrantly green eyes caught sight of his friend's bare body laying open before him in the most taunting and worrisome of ways.

Her dark purple hair, shoulder length, floated like rolling thunderclouds in the warm water, still moving back and forth rhythmically with the waves created by her fall. Her pale figure, dangerously thin in its current state instead of just the characteristic petite it had always been, lay limply in a tangled manger—suggesting she had fallen while standing up.

"Hina…mori…"

Shaking himself from the haze her nakedness had thrown him headfirst into, Hitsugaya quickly scooped her from the water, and in that same motion wrapped her into his sleeveless Captain's robe.

He brought her swiftly out into the more conveniently lit living room and lay her unconscious figure on the green sofa directly across the walkway. First he checked her head and found that there was no bleeding, barely even a bump where she'd hit the pale pink tiled wall. Puzzled, he was just considering giving the fourth squad a call when she moved against his arm, her forehead pressing into his bicep.

Her sudden movement made him startle, his neck hairs nearly standing on end because of her nuzzling.

Turquoise eyes stared intently, like a puppy watching his dinner being made in slow motion, catching every tiny event of the sluggish re-awakening.

"Shi…" Hinamori mumbled, her small voice full of the pain that the back of her head was feeling.

Desperately he sought to grasp her fragile fingers but could not—would not.

"Shiro…chan…?" Her brown eyes filled with questions instead of tears as they focused on the brilliant white hair and burning green eyes in front of her.

Hitsugaya let out a small breath of relief when he saw that she seemed fully functional. "Oi. It's Taicho. Hitsugaya—" "Taicho." She finished for him, a mischievous and weary smile accompanying her words.

"Right." The smirk on his lips widened into a smile, a smile just for her, as he recognized that old expression.

She stretched a little, and in that same moment became aware of what she was _not _wearing. "Ek!" Embarrassment flooded her cheeks and Hinamori shot up from the couch, clutching the pure robes to her dripping body.

Hitsugaya had nothing to say, no words of comfort for the highly flustered girl because his own thoughts were much too scrambled to get any one word straight.

When she jerked into a sitting position her wet hair had followed with just as much speed, climbing forward into the air and sending little droplets of water flying. Brown-ish locks, now black from the dampness, curled wildly around her face like a living frame, traveling through the air in an almost hypnotic manner. It made him remember the scene of her in the tub.

Now that she was alright he had time to go back and reflect more carefully upon that picture. He saw now how artfully her hands had been placed, how her skin had glistened from the liquid covering it, now her collarbone protruded from a delicately defined neck, how small, lost strands of her hair had fallen across her face, the way her eyebrows had been slightly turned up with pain and concern. As the young Captain fell deeper into the forever gone image of Hinamori in the warm waters his thoughts began to escalade and turn to more dangerous details. He lingered a long while on her breasts and the space between them. Down the middle his mind remembered, passed the visible rib cages to her belly button. Down a little further and—'NO!'

Hitsugaya blinked and then winced at the pain his right hand was inflicting on his left. The untidy nails dug deeply into his skin in a last attempt to keep himself from violating all of his long time friend's privacy.

"Hitsugaya-kun?" Looking up, he found himself confronting the brown and worried eyes of a now fully dressed Hinamori.

"Oh, sorry. Sorry…" He searched her face methodically for a moment while repeating the apology in a much softer voice. "Are you alright?" He stood up while asking this, trying to take charge of the situation once again and divert her attention from his hand.

In a generous and protective gesture he grabbed one of her shoulders and pushed her gently down to sit and rest.

The girl pondered on it for so long, on what her excuse would be, that he felt the need to ask again; "Hinamori—" Speaking her name with volume and force. "—Are you alright?"

"Ah." She smiled gently at him, her kind eyes almost reaching their old brilliance. "I just slipped. I'm sorry to cause you so much trouble."

"Hinamori..." This time he spoke her name like a parent trying to force the truth from their reluctant child. 'No.' She corrected herself. 'He said that like a Captain.'

A sudden feeling of pride towards her white haired friend prompted Hinamori to give him the truth.

"I…saw a light."

"A light?" His eyebrows came even closer together in a confused scowl, and unconsciously he moved closer towards her as if on the edge of his seat.

"Yes." A nod of confirmation dramatized the point.

"It was on the ceiling, and…for some reason I started to reach for it. I remember…almost touching it, but then I fell."

"Why?"

Shame filled her eyes and she wanted to look away but couldn't. "I was tired."

Hitsugaya took a moment to ponder the situation and was close to calculating a reaction when he was startled a second time.

"Please-don't take me back to the fourth squad! It was just a sudden wave, I'm fine, really I—"

A hand on her head brought her rambling to a quite before it had even begun. Surprised, and slightly awed, Hinamori lifted her brown eyes upwards to meet the face of the young man who she had for so long called a friend.

"I wasn't thinking of that. But that light worries me."

'His eyes look so kind…' For the first time Hinamori found herself engulfed by the incredible and icy depths of Toshiro's beyond green orbs. He had known that she'd been lying. Right away he knew, whether it was from some habit of hers he'd learn to detect or from his own experience with her she didn't know, but right away he had known she was lying. They two had been in each other's presence for so long that even something as serious as a lie had become pointless.

Hinamori's eyes fell from his eyes slowly down to the black robes covering his chest.

"I think I'll call Mayuri's division down to investigate."

The young shinigami stuck out her tongue in disgust at the mention of the weird Captain's name.

Hitsugaya chuckled at her reaction, taking just a moment away from his serious composure. "He's not that bad."

She shot him a skeptical look in response.

"…Alright. He's weird, but you didn't hear that from me. However, the point is that that light you spoke of sounds suspicious and I want someone to look into the matter."

"Fine." A lingering pout played on her lips as Hinamori reluctantly agreed to allow that strange scientist and his team to come poke and prod around her home. A pout Hitsugaya knew he had to ignore for fear of her using it against his crumbling insides.

Silence descended momentarily upon the pair now that all the affairs had been put in order.

"Oh! Here."

Hinamori finally offered the Captain his robe once again after clinging to it for the past few minutes.

"Ah, thanks."

As the piece of clothing exchanged hands and a few fingers innocently touched both parties remembered how Hinamori had worn nothing but that robe just a few minutes earlier. To avoid a second silence Captain Hitsugaya thanked her and quickly stood up to arrange his message for Mayuri.

While he stood in the corner of her kitchen and spoke to a little black butterfly on his forefinger Hinamori watched the broad white back of the short man. Soon, though, fatigue came inching back into her life and she had to lie down on that green couch once again.

:o:o:o:o:o:

Clu…clu…bii…biiiii…..clubibi…..biiii-BOP….bii-BOP…clu…

"Oi, oi, oi, keep up!"

"My apologizes, Mayuri-sama."

"Worthless little…"

…were the sounds Hinamori woke to. She rubbed her eyes dutifully, and once the Lieutenant could see without the shielding blur of sleep she realized that the couch had been moved far across the room and that it was now late in the afternoon.

Puzzled and curious, she gazed around the room, studying the new additions and trinkets that had been brought in while she was sleeping.

Besides Captain Kurotsuohi and Nemu there were three other assistants, none of whom she knew, and Hinamori suddenly found herself very alone and self-conscious. Then, just as she was about to slink out of her _own _apartment she felt the comfortingly cold reiatsu of Captain Hitsugaya. A smile of relief came across her features as Hinamori turned her eyes to the corner of the room where her slightly vertically challenged friend stood tall and strong overseeing the work of his fellow Captain.

'Shiro-chan…' She thought gratefully. 'You didn't leave me.'

Even though he probably had a headache's worth of paperwork he had stayed with her almost the whole day, something he normally wouldn't have done. Even if one bad man had betrayed her completely, had shatter her world and almost her existence, Hinamori realized she could always count on Hitsugaya.

Just as the thought came into Hinamori's mind the person in question turned his head and gave her a secret smirk before turning his attention back to his other co-workers.

Before Hinamori had the chance to challenge herself with further thoughts of Toshiro Hitsugaya she was interrupted by Mayuri's creepy voice.

"We found no abnormalities, nothing of significance to report except a fair amount of cobwebs. Not even a hole leading from this dwelling to the one above." The strangely dressed man's voice was drone and blasé, and his eyes seemed to reveal his extreme boredom with the situation. "Might I suggest, that the Lieutenant was simply hallucinating? She was just released from the hospital after all, and we all know she doesn't exactly have a very strait history of san—."

"That will be enough. My apologies for wasting your time, Captain Kurotsuohi." The first word to erupt from his mouth to intercept Mayuri's cruel sentence was loud and dangerous, much like Hitsugaya's expression.

Hinamori was sure she had felt his sensitive reiatsu increase, and the intensity of the situation quickly became uncomfortable.

An unfortunate subordinate cautiously interrupted the blatant stares of the Captains; "Um….C-Captain, shall we begin to relocate the equipment now?"

Neither the assistant nor the onlookers could tell if Mayuri's long pause before answering meant that he was angry. "Of course."

Without any formal goodbyes and Hitsugaya's lone offering of nearly sarcastic thanks the two parties set out on their different ways.

Until the last of the foreign footsteps were gone Hitsugaya stayed put in his spot of heroic gesture. And when he finally turned again to Hinamori he found her eyes downcast and her hands clutched lightly together in her lap.

She must have heard his small step taken in her direction, because she quickly said; "I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun. I used up so much of your time today…and I wasted others' time as well." Her brown eyes finally came up from hiding and made his icy heart cry woefully at their guilty expression. "I just use up everyone's time, ne?"

Before he could think clearly he found himself at her side, towering over her with a passionate glare of defiance in his turquoise eyes. "You do not!" The words were annunciated so clearly and forcefully that Hinarmori knew any sort of argument against the statement would fail like a platypus trying to fly. Instead she simply looked away from him and said; "I think I'll try finishing that bath."

Interrupting and almost drowning out her sentence was a loud growl from Hinamori's empty stomach.

The girl flushed a hot red. Her embarrassed heightened by the thought that the number of unsightly things she'd done in front of her friend that day was increasing.

"Sounds like you'd like to start dinner." He teased, a tiny hint of his old childish humor returning to his voice.

With a swift sort of natural elegance Hitsugaya moved away from her and towards the long forgotten soba. He lifted one of the plate-like lids to inspect the noodles and found it in fine condition. "It's still pretty warm." He told her over his shoulder.

"Hm? Let me see." Hinamori pushed herself up from the couch and walked over to him, pressing up against his back and stretching her arm under his while peering over his shoulder. As she reached with one finger into the soup she failed to notice the flush now appearing on_ his_ cheeks.

He watched her dip the pale, thin finger into the soup to test the temperature.

"It's alright, could do with some re-heating though."

She drew the finger from the broth, redirecting the sample into her mouth with a satisfied "Mmmm." that brought Hitsugaya's insides to a painful flutter.

'H-how can she do that so calmly…so innocently?!' He wondered, trying to recover from the trauma she'd caused him while she put the meal into one big pot to re-heat on her stove.

Matsumoto had some similar things to him on a few occasions, most involving alcohol, but each time he knew that she knew that what she had done was meticulously designed to put men off their rockers. Each time she teased him with the sexy gestures it was her goal to get him riled up and show some sort of emotion other than sternness or seriousness.

Momo on the other hand had done very much the same thing with no evil thoughts in mind. Or…had she?

As he pondered on the matter of 'a tease or not a tease', the girl in question was busy re-heating and re-distributing the delicious buckwheat noodles.

'No, not bed wetter Momo…' She was still just as much of a virgin as he was, and certainly not so determined that she would try putting moves on_ him_. 'Though...' He thought with a private smirk after listing many reasons why she would not want to choose him over the more attractive men in Soul Society. '…I am a Captain.' That had to count for something.

Hitsugaya's thinking wasn't broken when she served him the freshly warmed noodles, though he did pay half his attention to her incase she said something, but on the whole he continued to analyze the situation of 'innocence.' It was beginning to worry him, all the 'what ifs' and things he didn't know. He wasn't exactly on the gossip chain, since he despised the notion, and Hinamori was not one to discuss her love life with him or any man, so who was he to know if she had any pursuers or interests?

Then his mind wandered to a very dark place.

The extreme trauma she'd suffered after Aizen's betrayal and during the period when he was thought to be dead, seemed a bit strange for someone who merely looked up to her Captain. Even though she loved and admired him above all people it was still a bit odd.

The white haired boy's eyes widened as he looked over the slowly recovering girl before him, sitting quietly and happily and sipping noodles into her famished mouth. Could it be…could it possibly be that she had given more than pure loyalty and devotion to the treacherous traitor?

His hair bristled, his fists and teeth clenched, and his heart let out a low and pained moan at the very idea of Hinamori giving herself to Aizen.

Luckily, before the young Captain did something brash—like asking her about the nature of her relationship with her ex-idol—reason kicked in, saying; "There's no way Aizen would care about something like that. He's insane. Thorough, but insane."

Still, he was not completely convinced.

After all, Aizen was a man. Who was he to say no if Hinamori offered herself? Who could possibly turn down those delicate but strong limbs, that small frame, those big, watering, and brilliant eyes?

A responsible Captain could. Especially a responsible Captain with ambitions and an ego like Aizen's. Hinamori was pretty, yes, but she was no Matsumoto.

In the end, Hitsugaya had no conclusion to satisfy himself with, his thoughts had been interrupted and shattered.

Shattered like the bowl of soba that fell to the floor when Hinamori suddenly jumped up from her seat.

"Momo?" Hitsugaya followed her gaze to a spot on the wall across the room.

While her eyes became hazy and she slowly started to walk forward, reaching out as if trying to grasp something he saw nothing. He felt nothing.

"Hinamori?!"

His voice called franticly to her but she responded calmly like nothing was wrong. "It's that light again."

Within seconds his soul slayer was drawn and pointed outwards at the wall and he had Hinamori in the crook of his arm, her body pressed sideways into his. As his reiatsu burst from his body that strong arm holding her became the only thing keeping Hinamori from falling under the pressure of it.

"Damn…" He muttered. A strange thing he couldn't see or sense was the enemy.

:o:o:o:o:

Substitute 'end for now' writer is having difficult time, suggests you blame her—he points at the writer who is busy trying to encourage a less than unenthusiastic platypus to fly.


	3. Falling Without You

Hitsugaya clutched Hinamori closer to him as his eyes skimmed the area determinedly

Please feed me reviews, we artists need encouragement, or discouragement…basically we need lots of attention.

Special thanks to shirochanxmomo1220 for the lovely, lovely, review from chapter 1!

Also, this part of the fic is set during time when the Inoue got captured and taken to Hueco Mundo, I've just taken the liberty to extend the time by a few days before the **spoiler censor**.

:o:o:o:

Hitsugaya clutched Hinamori closer as his battle ready eyes skimmed the area determinedly. The long sleeve of his shinigami robes covered a good part of her mid-section where his arm held her but that wasn't good enough. Cloth never stopped an attack. He wanted to shield her from this thing, protect her with everything he had. Luckily, in the short time they'd been apart he had actually managed to grow a bit, so to help calm his need Hitsugaya tucked her head beneath his chin.

"Where is it?"

Almost reluctantly, as if undecided about the intentions of the foreign object, the wobbly shinigami reached out her hand to set it down on Hyourinmaru's hilt. Slowly and carefully she guided Hitsugaya's sword towards the light, eagerly studying the reaction of the glowing orb.

The length of her fingers pressed into his, her head was pressed into his neck, her body lay flat against his own, and through all this Hitsugaya found he was having trouble staying focused on the invisible enemy.

Completely unaware of her friend's trouble, Hinamori brought the very tip of the blade within inches of the shining ball, testing it, but still it did not move.

"What's it doing?" He asked in a hushed and nearly husky whisper as he forced his mind back to the true situation.

"Nothing." Hinamori answered, suddenly moving the blade to the right and puncturing the wall harmlessly, missing the glowing ball by only a hair's difference.

Suspicious, worried, and mildly flustered was the notorious Hitsugaya as he watched her movements and studied her face as she moved his sword. "Did you get it?"

"No." She answered calmly. But her intention was not to strike the ball, all Hinamori wanted was a reaction. Frustration crept into her expression and Hinamori glared directly at the shining light in defiance until its brightness made her blink, and in that second's worth of time the bizarre object disappeared.

"It's gone."

"Gone? Or just not there?" Hitsugaya thrashed this way and that with his neck, trying futilely to scan the room.

Hinamori took a look for him and saw nothing. "Gone gone."

Once she'd confirmed that they were alone the powerful reiatsu withdrew back into Hitsugaya's body, making it easier for Hinamori to stand without him holding her up.

While he put his zanpakuto away she thought bitterly about how weak she'd become. For while a Captain's reiatsu was nothing to joke about, only a tiny fraction of Hitsugaya's had been released.

Even though she was now perfectly capable of standing on her own Hinamori hadn't made any grand movement to do so. As a result, when Hitsugaya put away his sword he relocated that hand to provide a second support on the small of her back.

"Maybe Mayuri was right…maybe I am hallucinating…"

Like a wilting flower she leaned in towards him. Hitsugaya would have given anything to kiss that drooping forehead if not for the sense of duty that stopped him, and so he settled for innocently pressing his chin against it.

He thought hard on what to tell her, what words he could use to comfort her guilty heart and soothe away her confusion, but all he could think about was how her hips were pressed against his. His focus was solely placed on _not_ rubbing her back with the sides of his thumbs as he could easily and carelessly have done. And to make matters all that much worse, the sweet scent from the salts she'd used in the tub came blooming up under his nose, driving him within inches of instability.

The tiny moment he took to soak himself in all these aspects of her felt like ages, so in a rushed and embarrassed way he asked quickly: "Did it have a reflection against the sword?"

"Oh…" Hinamori hadn't thought of that being anything significant. "Yes it did. Though it didn't move at all when I--"

"What is it, Taicho?!" The loud feminine voice of Rangiku interrupted as she burst into the room. "I felt your reiatsu go…" Her would be explanation trailed off into nothing as she slyly studied the situation she'd found her Captain in.

"Oh dear…" A happy smile, like one of a mad scientist discovering that their plan for world domination was working, overtook her glossed lips. "…I guess you weren't excited about an enemy."

"MATSUMOTO!"

Hinamori flinched at the volume of his voice at such a close proximity, but realized that her momentary fear to be a mere trifle compared to the emptiness she found after his hands slipped away.

"There _was_ a good reason for—." "What's going on?" Much to Captain Hitsugaya's dismay, Kira also came running in, nearly bumping strait into Matsumoto.

Like the mischievous woman she was, Rangiku quickly turned on her heal and explained that; "The Captain was having such a good time he couldn't control himself."

A confused Kira turned to examine the delicate situation and found a flustered Hitsugaya and a downcast looking Hinamori. The slow man quickly drew the line between imaginary dots and assumed the worst. "H-Hitsugaya Taicho! How could you?!"

"WHAT?! I—."

"Oi! Where's the enemy?!" Late and determined as ever came the redheaded Renji.

Before his treacherous Lieutenant could spread her lie even further, Hitsugaya tried his best to explain. "Hinamori saw a—." "NOW SEE HERE! What is the meaning of all this noise? I can't—Oh! Hinamori-chan, I didn't know you were feeling better." Yumichika noticed abruptly, stopping his potential rant about beauty sleep.

"Ah, y-yes…I—" "But Taicho tried to take advantage of her weakened state!" The large breasted woman grabbed the nearest boy—Renji—and began fondling him in an exaggerated reenactment of what she'd seen just seconds before. "Like this!"

Jaws dropped in shock, even Renji's squirming came to a halt, and the short Captain soon found himself up against a horde of angry 'knights.'

"_You did WHAT?"_

"_How ugly!"_

"_Just because you're a Captain you think you can get away with something like this?!"_

"_Taicho, you pervert!"_

Came the verbal attacks, all jumbled together as the dutiful or taunting guests spoke out in Hinamori's defense.

Growing redder by the second, Hitsugaya could only stammer out small sputters and fragments of protests of the true explanation. Without realizing it he seemed to revert back to a twelve year old who was being scolded by his older relatives who couldn't get a word in edge wise.

Hinamori, on the other hand, tried her best to fight back the harsh assumptions even though her small voice could not be heard over the wild shouts of her caring friends. The loud, almost violent way her boys were fighting, along with the growing crowd of observers was beginning to get to her. After living in virtual isolation for weeks suddenly being surrounded by so many faces made her knees quiver.

In a fast attempt to run and hide Hinamori ducked behind the sturdiest of shelters she could think of—Hitsugaya Toshiro.

Feeling her small hands clutching his sleeves and the pressure of her head against his shoulders seemed to revive Hitsugaya of his bravery.

"You're the one's causing a problem!!"

Histugaya found that didn't to yell to be heard, because as soon as Hinamori ducked behind her him in full cower the others quickly hushed their complaints. Guilt spread like a wild fire across their faces as they observed her shivering, and when there was finally enough quiet to hear the tiny sniffles and withheld sobs they all looked blatantly downhearted and felt outright horrid.

Mastumoto hurried to Hinamori's side, wrapping her arms around the girl and whispering calming hush noises in an attempt to redeem herself while craftily avoiding the glares she would have gotten from the three boys.

"M-Mastumoto-san…why would you say something like that? Everyone was so m-mad at Hitsugaya-kun."

Hitsugaya shot a look at Kira, Renji, and Yumichika, who quickly went to work scattering the nosey crowd.

"I'm sorry, really I am. I just wanted to have some fun with Taicho, I didn't want to scare you." The large breasted woman cooed, stroking the shorter girl's hair.

"I-I wasn't scared…" Hinamori confirmed with a shake of her head 'no'. I just hate it so much when we're all fighting each other." By this time Renji and Kira had returned and stood listening in the doorway with sensitive expressions. "Shinigami aren't supposed to fight one another!"

The room was silent as the small but wise words of the girl seeped into everyone's thoughts.

"What was it…that Hinamori saw?"

They all turned their heads as Yumichika re-entered the conversation with a serious look in his well made up eyes.

Before answering, Hitsugaya turned to face Hinamori; his green orbs digging deeply into her, asking if she really wanted sometime like this going around.

Her brown eyes answered back 'it's alright, you can tell him' and so he began to explain. "A light. She saw it earlier as well, both times inside this house, though I could not see or sense it. I had Mayuri come inspect it but he said there was nothing noteworthy to be found."

Matsumoto, her arms still around Hinamori's head, was the first to pip up a solution. "Perhaps it's her Zanpakuto? Shinigami sometimes see odd things when their soul slayer is about to evolve."

"Evolve?" Hinamori asked doubtfully.

"Yes, when its wielder's personality has changed drastically, or if a large event has occurred in the wielder's life, the sword may also change."

"Or." Renji's eyes were serious as he slowly formulated the most sensitive way to put his sentence. "It could be a new life form."

"An enemy?"

"Not necessarily."

Hitsugaya sighed as though he could feel a headache forming beneath his temples. "Either way, I don't think she should stay in this home on her own." His eyes shifted from Hinamori to Matsumoto. "Would you take her in? For tonight at least."

"Yes! Taicho!" The beautiful woman responded enthusiastically, happily giving Hinamori another squeeze before releasing her.

"But, I don't think it's a bad thing." Hinamori objected, a little annoyed that her friends had decided something like that on their own. "I'm not even sure it's a thing at all. Maybe it's something I'm seeing because I'm tired, like after you watch a lantern for too long."

"You just slept for six hours." Hitsugaya pointed out while staring down at his pinky with a skeptical look in his eyes. "Like a kid."

Hinamori's cheeks puffed out in defiance. "I did not!"

"Sprawled all over the place like one."

"Was not!"

A few snickers and a 'smack. Ouch! What the hell?' from behind brought the two back from their childish game and left them blushing.

"Well, what do you want, Hinamori?" Kira asked kindly, though his eyes refused to focus on the subject of his question.

"Well…" She turned to the floor beneath her feet as if searching for answers. "I want to start living again."

Only the shuffling of someone's hakama answered her statement as Hinamori's words once again threw everyone into a stark silence.

"I want to live in this house just like always, and I don't feel afraid of that light, so I'll stay here for now."

"Hinamori—." Toshirou began to protest, deep green eyes swelling with concern even in the presence of four other people.

"I'll be alright." Hinamori turned to him, smiling so happily and so confidently that Hitsugaya couldn't manage to stammer out another word.

Until that moment her hands had retained their grip on his robes, but now that her declaration of independence had been made she released him.

"Well, glad that's settled. Hinamori—" Renji went to his friend and gave her his finest encouraging smile. "Rukia and I have to leave in a few hours, but I'll stop by when we return."

"Ooh! We should all go out drinking!" Matsumoto chirped enthusiastic. Everyone could already see the piles of empty sake bottles stacking up in her eager eyes as she planned and plotted the event.

"Y-yes, lets…" Kira added his own, quiet input.

A few more wayward goodnights were said and some minor news was exchanged before anyone actually left Hinamori's apartment, but she didn't mind. Now that it was just her friends and now that no one was screaming at each other, things felt right. Things felt just as they always had—with one or two insignificant tweaks—and she knew that the life she sought after was not far from her reach.

Eventually it was only she and Hitsugaya again, for neither of them had ever been terribly good at saying goodbye.

Each childlike teenager focused his or her attentions to the floor, now cleared of the spilled supper and broken china, trying to think of the most natural way to end their precious day together.

"Ne, Shiro-chan." She began, initiating her farewell with their old and familiar tease.

"What, bed wetter?" He answered without looking up.

"Thank you for everything today. It's been so long since I've seen you, because of your paperwork and your missions to the real world…and suddenly here you are today. I was so happy to see you, because it had been so long…" Realizing that she was beginning to wander with her words, Hinamori took on a faster tone. "And! I know you have paperwork and other important Captain duties, I know it's important and it all has to be done…but I hope we can spend more time together, like we always use to."

If she could have heard the beat of his heart racing Hinamori might not have felt so selfish and awkward asking this, for her words were his heart's most desperate desire.

"Of course." He nodded, giving his lips a small lick to wet them and keep his voice steady before he raised his white head to meet her eyes. "Momo, if you ever need me…if you, feel like you need someone, don't hesitate to come find me. Paperwork can always been done later…after all."

When he was finished he felt angry with himself for choosing such dumb vocabulary, but that self-loathing only lasted until his words sank in with her, and Hinamori's eyes began to shine at him. Fearfully, he wondered if she was going to cry again. "H-Hina…"

Cry she did not, for this was not a time to cry. Instead she did something much worse, something more torturous: she threw her arms around him.

"Shiro-chan!" Her honey voice called into his ear as she held him tighter. "I missed you! I really, really missed you! I'm so sorry…so very sorry."

Hitsugaya could only bring himself to pat her shoulder with one hand while the other clenched so tightly into a fist that his fingernails burrowed savagely into the pink skin of his palm. Would he always be her Shiro-chan? Only her Shiro-chan?

Hitsugaya felt torn in two as his body fought hard against his better judgment for the right to hold this broken girl tightly in his own arms. But he didn't have that right; he barely even deserved the right to be her companion.

What sort of friend was he to want her when all she asked of him was comfort and security? He had let his own feelings get in the way of his caring for her. All that time away, while she had been lonely in the hospital, was not spend solely on paperwork. And that night, the first night where he'd recovered and she had not, and Unohana asked him "_Won't you say something to her?"_ that selfish restraint when he answered "_As I am now, I can say nothing to her" _was only the vise his ego and sense of duty and placed upon him. While he was out trying to fight for a world where she could respect him she was inside, shut away and suffering. 'Damn…you bastard.' He cussed inwardly.

The hysteric laughter that came bubbling from her throat a moment later, however, changed his mood from one of despair to one of joy and he found himself unable to resist letting a small chuckle out.

"Sleep well, Hinamori." As he said these soft words Hitsugaya grabbed her hand in his right, patting it soundly with his left.

"You too." Hinamori, surprised by his sudden contact and abrupt farewell could only seem to whisper out the reply.

As he slipped out her door she followed him with her eyes, as he walked away she concentrated hard on his diminishing reiatsu, and when there was nothing left of him but the lingering blend of warmth and iciness in her hand Hinamori realized for a second time that the absence of his touch left her feeling empty.

:o:o:o:o:o

For the rest of the night she did not see that light again, into the morning there was no third encounter, and it wasn't until early evening that she finally spotted the mysterious figment.

This time, determined to discover more of its origins and secrets, Hinamori walked boldly towards the shining orb.

"What are you?" She pressed, coming closer towards it.

"Why don't you respond to me?" Her pale, feather light feet made gracious advances, each step taking her across a new row of tiles.

"Can you hear me?" Pit, pat…pit, pat…

"Go up and down, like this, if you can understand me at all." She motioned with her finger in a tiny mimic of a nod 'yes.'

Still there was no movement, no reaction, not even the slightly change in the intensity of the ball's light.

"Why do you keep coming here…why can only I--ie!!" One too many steps forward was taken and Hinamori, forgetting she'd been on the very top of her apparent complex, had blindly walked right off the edge.

Thinking fast, she tried to Shunpo away but only managed to come within an arm's length of a window ledge. Her reiatsu was still healing, and she had none to spare on fancy tricks like Shunpo.

"Ah!" Desperately she grabbed the smooth ledge, holding on for dear life and determined not to plummet the ten stories she currently hung over.

Next her other hand swung up, grasping tightly to a neighboring spot.

Hinamori looked up, down, and to both sides, scanning the situation. Her most reasonable bet would be to get her elbows up on the ridge since the muscles in her back would do much more to support her total body weight.

With her dainty feet she kicked as hard as she could off the wall, pushing her body up only high enough for her chin to reach the fixture. "Dang it…"

Tears watered in Hinamori's eyes as she was forced to come to terms with her weakness once again. Only months ago this would have been no problem. Even for a rookie at the academy this would have been a small hill to climb over.

The strength in her arms was even more limited than her reiatsu and her fingers soon began to slip.

If she didn't call for help soon she would very likely die.

No principal or pride was worth that, not when she still had so much to reach for.

"Just one last try…" Hinamori begged her body before kicking off the wall a second time. With this final effort she managed to reach half of her intended height and quickly aimed to get her chest over the ledge. The makeshift plan might have worked had she not underestimated the slipperiness of the stucco ledge or the sleekness of her Shinigami robes.

Her hands were not ready to take on full responsibility, and when her chest slipped so did the rest of her.

"TOSHIRO!!" Hinamori cried out, thinking instantly of him and no one else.

Her yell for help earned the attention of a few nearby Shinigami; some who had even noticed her earlier struggle but ignored it, thinking it was some insane training.

As the ground came nearer and no Toshiro appeared a few onlookers began to put down their loads and move to help.

'Shiro…chan?' Doubt was suddenly upon her like a hard and icy claw. Even more overpowering than the fear of death was the unsuspected fear that maybe he wouldn't always be there for her. Maybe…

"Hinamori!" From the corner of her eye she caught a flash of white and before she had the chance to blink that white was all around her, overtaking her, holding her and carrying her away to safety.

The spectators all watched earnestly as Captain scooped the girl out of the air before disappearing in a Shunpo. They all searched the skies, waiting to see where he would re-appear. It wasn't everyday you got to see a Captain in action. "There!" Someone shouted, pointing to a location a good meter away from the spot of Hinamori's rescue.

When the dust settled from his hard entry onto the old bridge and Hinamori could see clearly the sight her eyes beheld evoked a silent gasp and a mild blush.

In his clumsy rush to save her Hitsugaya had grabbed her body in an odd and careless way. One protective hand had her by the inside of her left high instead of coming through behind both her knees. Though slightly worse than his other hand's position it didn't cause nearly as much of her panic. His right hand cradled her head, lifting her close to him and bringing them almost lip to lip.

'Hitsugaya-kun…' Her heart embraced the rush of adrenaline from the plunge like a whole new wave of excitement. Instead of calming down now that the fright of falling was over it only beat faster as she realized that a mere breath stood amid nothingness and a kiss of the boy she had always labeled 'friend.'

'Hitsugaya-kun…'

:o:o:o:o


	4. Breath or Kiss

Suddenly the voices of the onlookers were all around them

You should all go thank momo21 for making me continue this piece. I was just beginning to think "I'm getting a little bored with hitsuhina" I've already done one fanart, two AMV's and now this. Then she wrote a little poem about the last 3 chapters and it totally set me on fire xD. Thank you, I've never received anything quite like that before. You all should go read her poem if you want to review what's happened so far.

Oh! And I'll try to revise the end of the chpt. 3 so it's less confusing but they don't kiss…yet…

:o:o:o:o

She remembered the fell of nothingness beneath her feet as she plummeted towards the distant ground.

She remembered the slight sting of her hair as it whipped around her face, puppetered by the intense wind from her fall.

She remembered trying, and failing, to save herself, and how the cold tiles and rough wall had felt against her hands and feet.

She remembered the fear of hitting the ground; the strain and itch of her throat as she called out for the one person she could trust to come for her.

And now, stronger than remember, she felt the sensation of his hand touching the uncharted area of her inner thigh. Stronger than remember, she could fell the warmth radiating from the pair of lips opposite hers which rested a mere hairline away.

This was real and now and Hinamori knew she was safe from death if nothing else.

Cautiously, with an air of hesitation, she drew her lips away from his before anything could happen to somehow close that small distance. She also lifted her right leg a little higher so it wouldn't drag on the ground, trying to re-settle herself in a more natural way.

Hitsugaya noticed her squirming, felt her hands come up to grab his shoulders firmly, but didn't do anything to fix his own grip. It might have been the rush from touching her, the excitement of saving her, the dread of not making it in time, or the anger he felt towards himself and towards the beautiful, defiant creature in his arms, but for whatever reason he seemed rendered immobile.

It wasn't until the voices of others penetrated their silent world that Hitsugaya finally snapped out of his incompetent state of being.

"Is that Hitsugaya Taicho?" "Indeed."

"That wasn't training?" "Guess not." "Shit…"

"Oh! I know who_ she_ is!" "Yeah?"

"You know, the one who went insane after Aizen 'died.' " "Oooh."

"She was_ his_ Lieutenant." "Ouch."

With an almost hateful snort, and without bothering to relocating his hands first, Hitsugaya turned sharply and, at a very brisk pace, began walking towards the nearest doorway.

Leaving a frosty blast of his Reiatsu behind to stifle the unthinking shinigami, he carried Hinamori far away from their voices.

Fortunately, the random Soul Society Soldiers' unconscious cruelty was mostly lost on the flabbergasted Hinamori. Her mind was still too full of the image of her long time friend's magnified face and the gentle, jutting details she's always missed there before. Had his lips always been so soft in appearance? Had the weary lines of sleep lack beneath his eyes been present since they were children or had they only grown in with his Captainship?

In the back of her wandering mind she heard the loud sound of his feet as they stomped the ground, and Hinamori knew she'd have to thank him soon. Her fists, now full of his black haori, shivered as she collected her bravery. "T-thank you, Hitsugaya Taicho."

As an extra reward she used his full title.

She waited, but much to her dismay more than a minute went by and still no 'you're welcome…bed wetter' greeted her ears. No smile, no smirk, not even the slightest form of acknowledgment came from her gallant rescuer.

Then Hinamori noticed his pace increasing, and soon after she felt her body tossed upwards for just a moment before coming back down into his arms. With a quick and clever fling he'd saved her from the awkward hold and now held her in the more traditional bridal way.

Hinamori sighed as she slowly picked up on the reason for his haste, his quiet, and his brashness. With their close proximity she could hear the fast beat of his pulse, the uneven breaths he took, and feel his wavering reiatsu.

These three things could only be explained by one answer; his temper.

Hinamori had known Toshiro long enough that she could easily discover his anger, and oh was he angry.

Her head fell to rest against his neck in a quiet, apologetic way. "I'm sorry…Hitsugaya-kun." Without realizing it, her thumbs began to brush rhythmically against his collarbone, soothing and enticing him all at once.

"I'm sorry."

Before either of them knew it they were in her apartment again, just the two of them all over again with the world spinning like a runaway fariswheel.

In an almost childlike fit of emotion Hitsugaya rushed to her familiar green couch and tossed her down onto the sagging cushions. Before Hinamori could even get out an 'Ouch!' he was up in a arms, letting the ragging anger and love taint and control his words as he delivered the speech he'd always intended on giving.

"Do you have—any! Idea what you were doing out there?" He'd stammered briefly, having to force out his 'any' like it had been clogged in his throat.

Hinamori would have been concerned for her own self if she hadn't noticed the tremors in his hand when he made dramatic gestures.

"I tried…" "You could have died! What, exactly, was your back up plan incase I couldn't get there in time?"

"One of the other Shinigami would have surely…" "Because they were all looking so eager to jump in a save you, right?"

His loud voice and sensible words made Hinamori feel like a child.

"Were you…were you following that light?"

Her eyes widened at the abrupt change in Hitsugaya's voice and manner. Like a winter's wind had come and extinguished the flames of his raging fire the small Captain's dialogue had suddenly lost its intensity and force, and instead of shaking with rage his shoulders seemed to shiver with fear.

He turned partly towards her, only glancing behind him through the corner of his eye, and what she saw in the hurting, green pigment made Hinamori realize that she was not the child in this room.

"Hitsugaya-kun…" The sting of guilt made her eyes swell with tears that did not yet over flow as she drew her legs under her at a slant, and her hands found their way to each other over her lap. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was so focused on trying to understand it that I…I forgot where I was. It won't happen again, I promise."

Slowly, his visible eye closed, and then he turned away from her completely.

After a moment of silence where only the sound of two broken hearts interrupted their thoughts Hitsugaya finally spoke. His words were cool, collected, and clear, as if that quivering child he'd been moments ago had never existed. "Grab the things you want, you'll be staying with Mastumoto until we can figure out what that thing is and why you're seeing it."

"Bu—!" "Either stay with her or stay in the Fourth Division."

"I—" "That is an order." His foot left the floor as he tried to take a step away, but Hinamori's scream left him frozen in place.

"You can't, it's not fair!"

"Fair?" The white haired boy whipped around so quickly that Hinamori winced. "If you want to question what is fair and what is not, tell me how fair it is that I have to watch you fall every single time and yet there's never anything I can do to prevent it!"

The tears from before spilled over as if a gun's trigger had been squeezed. "Shiro-chan…" Hinamori's voice shook almost as hard as Hitsugaya's body, and as she leapt off the couch, her arms outstretched to welcome the old comfort they'd always given each other, Hinamori found herself colliding not with him but with reality. In the last second he'd grabbed her wrists, keeping her from touching him in this crucial moment.

For Hitsugaya knew that if she threw her arms around him now he would not be able to contain the all consuming love that was eating out the fragile walls of his heart from the inside. In this much too early time he would blurt out something he'd never be able to take back, or hold her in a way he shouldn't, maybe even touch her in a way a friend wouldn't, and in doing so ruin everything.

Not knowing how hard or soft his grip felt against her boney wrists, Toshiro quickly dropped them. He was determined not to hurt her as she had unintentionally been hurting him.

Hitsugaya straitened up, fixed his ruffled robes, and made a quick dash for the exit. "I'll come to escort you in an hour." Was his goodbye.

A dumbstruck, dejected, flustered, embarrassed, confused, and beyond guilty Hinamori sank noiselessly to the floor of her small and lonely apartment.

:o:o:

Once inside the privacy of his office in the Tenth Division meeting room Hitsugaya left no frustration restrained as he pounded the back of his fist into the wall and as his white teeth had his bottom lip caught like a guillotine's blades catch criminal's heads. But all the physical pain he inflected upon his body was nothing compared to the pain of withholding himself. Not just from her hug but from her lips as well. How easily he could have stolen one innocent, accidental kiss just now, blaming the jolt of the fall and the careless way he'd grabbed her, and yet still refrained.

The goal before him was too clear, too strong. This current reality was like an ever-waking dream he fought to be rid of. Deep inside he knew he could never allow himself to confess his feelings until Aizen was nothing more than a bad memory. Until the world was safe for him to be happy he could not allow it, for he was sure that loosing that happiness, once he had it, would be millions of times more painful than never having it at all.

"Taicho? I heard a loud banging, what's…Taicho!" Mastumoto, her orange eyes full of concern, ran towards the unsightly Tenth Division with handkerchief in hand.

Like a caring older sister she took his chin and began to dab away the blood gushing from the punctured lip. Her eyes flashed up to the broken wall for a split second and finally understanding a little of what had transpired in her absence. "Honestly…"

Instead of acting like the authority figure his white robes posed him as, Hitsugaya stood still, like a living doll, and allowed his Lieutenant to hold and clean his face. "Hm…this might need stitches. Taicho what were you thinking?"

After she asked that he jerked his head away and lowered his hand from the splinters of the wall. "Mastumoto, if it's alright with you, I'll be keeping Hinamori in your apartment for a few days."

The older woman's silence was the clearest yes she could think to give, and as she pressed the now blood red cloth onto the hurt lip she decided it was best to remain in that silence.

:o:o:o:o:

It was ten thirty in the evening and Hinamori had been effectively and efficiently moved into Rangiku's lush apartment.

"W-wow…Mastumoto-san, I didn't know you had collected so many things from the human world." The young girl seemed in awe that any room could look so well placed and interesting, for her eyes were almost a large as her waist.

"You like it huh? It's my own little collection!" The older woman buzzed with a warm happiness that one of her fellow shinigami had finally complemented her strange sense of decorating style.

"Oh, yes, it's very unique."

Hinamori's hands and eyes explored the room freely, and when the fingertips of her right hand lingered over a particularly soft, white, toy bear the girl couldn't help thinking about the other unique things in her life. 'Unique…huh…'

Unique like the dark green eyes and contrasting white hair of her most treasured friend.

Unique like the genius student turned Captain after only a handful of years at the Academy.

Unique like a blast of December in the middle of July…

"Hinamori? …Hinamori?" Rangiku's voice broke the train of thought, bringing Hinamori back to the abruptly dropped conversation.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

With a raise of an eyebrow Mastumoto repeated the question; "I said, would you like to sleep with me or should I set up a futon for you?"

The younger girl's eyes seemed to light up like a holiday lantern at the prospect of a new experience. "I could really sleep in that strange bed?"

Mastumoto laughed. "Of course!"

:o:o:o:

The next day marked the first real day of training for Hinamori since the puncturing of her heart and her small coma.

She'd decided the night before that she couldn't bear the immense weight of uselessness upon her proud shinigami shoulders any longer. With wooden katana in hand, a small but protein filled breakfast in her tummy, and determination coursing like a hot fire inside her body, Hinamori set off for the fifth division training hall.

It wasn't crucial, but Hinamori wanted a room to herself.

So it was a great relief to her to find that the rest of her unit was all training outside or with another division.

She took her stance, sucked in a deep, cleansing breath, and drew her sword high above her head as her body fell into the well known rhythm of Basics.

Swoosh! Swoo! Swh!

Slowly but surely her cuts became faster as the weight of the sword in her hands became natural once more. A triumphant smile exploded across her features with the sudden rush of wholeness. Hinamori felt new again, as if having that weapon and being able to use it gave her a clean slate, a fresh start, and a scar free body.

The small girl took that eruption of energy and emotion and burst into a complicated jump, upsweep and flip combo, one of her favorite and most delicate techniques.

Hinamori could have cried with joy as she landed almost perfectly, wobbling just a little bit, but held in the tears and returned to her disciplined stance. "I didn't forget."

If nothing else, she could be proud of her skills; that was how she felt.

Little did she know that just outside her haven the rest of her division stood peaking in on her, each one nearly moved to his own tears by her recovery and spunk.

'T-that's our Hinamori-chan!'

She was the only woman in her division, as Aizen had always preferred to have male subordinates, and without knowing it had become their princess.

:o:o:

Much to her dismay, Hinamori's strength only held out for half an hour before she collapsed to the ground wheezing and drenched in sweat.

Feeling tired, happy, and a bit pathetic, Hinamori resigned herself to spending the rest of the day on the hard, well-worn floor. A small ways off was her washcloth, and she stretched her hand as far towards it as possible but still did not reach it. 'Hm…that's a problem…'

A loud growl from her stomach was the second problem her "lets just stay here for the rest of the day" presented and a shortly afterwards a long, hollow sigh echoed throughout the training hall.

Just as Hinamori was about to get up she heard a stampede of feet come running towards her. Like a tangled mess of long legged horses they all came crashing in to join her, each member of the fifth division pretending to have just come back from training somewhere else.

"Oh! Hinamori-Chan, what a pleasure to see you!"

"You're feeling better? That's great!"

"Hungry? We were just gunna grab some grub."

"Sake too!"

"Hey, is this yours?"

"Good to see you again!"

The girl blinked repeatedly, unsure of what to think of this sudden entry and explosion of voices. Even more surprising was the lack of resentment in the faces of her teammates after her prolonged absence and abandonment. Kira had been taking good care of his division, so she'd heard, but she had done nothing but lay in a comatose and try to recover. It only seemed natural that they would dislike her.

For the second time in that very hour Hinamori felt tears in her eyes. "Everyone…"

:o:o:o:o:

Elsewhere, another loud sigh could be heard ringing throughout the halls of Seiretei.

Hitsugaya, now fully equipt with a three stitch lip, could not be seen behind the piles of paperwork attacking his desk. Just as he'd suspected, Mastumoto hadn't done any of it on his day off.

The temptation to scold and threaten her into one of her 'safe closets', she called them, was great and still growing, increasing each time he had to sign off on a medical report for a minor training accident.

He heard footsteps at his door, and just before the short Captain could open his mouth to spew out a well conceived insult he found himself staring at Soi Fong instead of his lacking Lieutaneant.

"Captain Fong?" Seeing business—urgent business—in her chilly eyes, he stood up hastily and motioned her closer.

"A secret Captain's meeting in half an hour. The rest of Soul Society cannot know about this, that was all I was told."

"A-Ah…" Confused but even more curious Hitsugaya went back to this desk to "speed work" away the rest of the meaningless documents littering his desk.

:o:o:o:o:o:

In the dead of night he came to her, hoping to say goodbye before the world and his work became too hectic for him to see her leisurely. The Captains had just spent the day cooperating with the notorious Urahara and the 12th division to relocate Karakura town and were now to leave Soul Society behind to stake out Aizen's inevitable attack on the human world.

Mastumoto was already waiting outside, fully dressed and alert, so Hitsugaya had only to walk into the bedroom, kneel besides the western style mattress, and say the one long and lonely word no warrior enjoys uttering.

In a peaceful sleep she lay until his hand engulfed and shook her shoulder.

"Hm…M?"

Brown eyes opened lazily, still fighting for the sleep her tired body needed, as the waking girl tried her best to focus on the blur in front of her. That white, green, and familiar cloud was soon recognized, and even though she couldn't see him quite crystal clear just yet she smiled happily in his general direction. "Hitsugaya-kun."

"A." He nodded, his hand slipping down the length of her arm off her shoulder until he realized his action and banished the chilly hand to his side.

"Hinamori, the other Captains and I will be leaving in a few hours. The reiatsu force will be intense for a little while until we move into the real world, so try and sleep through it."

"You're leaving?" The deep, dark eyebrows above her now fully awake eyes furrowed together in a kind of confused protest, though she was too tired to do more.

"Yeah." His answer was whispered, a breath out of his lungs like a pitiful sigh, and dripping with apology.

Hinamori gave her own much more obvious sigh and sank back into the pillow. "Oh."

It was difficult to explain himself without revealing dangerous information, and Hitsugaya was already regretting telling her where he'd be.

Before an awkward silence had the time to creep in and settle around them Hinamori was already stirring up more trouble.

Her observant eyes had found the small wound on his lip and her fingers stretched out from under the soft comforter to brush her finger down one of the small stitch threads. "Your lip…"

Hitsugaya shivered under her ghostly touch, and as if by reflex or from a badly timed exhale he kissed the curious fingers before taking the whole hand in his own. His green eyes studied it a moment, perhaps memorizing it, and each second that his fingers lingered on hers his resolve to let go became weaker.

Suddenly the spell was broken, and he rose from the submissive position to tuck the small hand away under the sheets.

"Don't worry about it." He told her kindly, his eyes searing with pain as he tried to pry himself away from her.

Hinamori's all day efforts were very apparent in the way she lifted her arm, in the way it had begun to shake as already exhausted muscles complained, and most obvious and special of all was the sparkle in her eye that he knew well from his days with her in the academy.

"Don't worry about me."

She would get that sparkle of triumph when she felt proud of herself, when she'd pushed herself to the very limit and then overcome it.

"…"

_I love you._

"…well."

_I love only you._

"Goodbye."

'Dang…' As Hitsugaya started to walk away, already scolding himself because for all the time he'd wasted, he heard her voice calling him back.

"Gunight, Shirocha…" She'd mumbled, half asleep, into the pillow, a sweet smile playing on her lips. "Only gunigh…" Hinamori yawned, unaware of the new width Hitsugaya's eyes had found. "Because you're coming back, r—yawn—right, Shiro-chan?"

It didn't take him long to smile bitterly and answer. "Yes. I'm coming back."

:o:o:o:o:


	5. Separated from You

Wasn't too thrilled with last chapter, hope this one comes out better

Wasn't too thrilled with last chapter, hope this one comes out better.

Many thanks to nymphadora who helped me editz ((has been reading too much I can has cheezburger . com ))

:o:o:o:o:

One of the most elegant fairy tale cliques is the 'bright morning wake up': To experience the late morning in its utmost splendor while still wrapped up in the comforts of one's bedroom.

Unlike the very break of day, late mornings are characterized by the enthusiastic chirping of full awakened birds, bright but cool sunshine, and the 'soft and fussy' appearance all objects in that sun seem to take on. The sort of hour where, even if you've just stolen eight hours of harmonious sleep, you do _not_ want to get out from underneath the gentle covers and no amount of 'oh but I should do this' ing or 'it's getting late' ing will convince you otherwise.

Following the fairy tale example, the most obvious and ideal way to wake up into this kind of morning is either to wake up near someone or wrapped up in that someone's arms.

An ideal which Hinamori found only natural, and somehow stuck in her head. So when she was woken up by the growing brightness she turned over and stretched out her hand as if to find something there beside her.

But of course there was nothing there to reach for. Feeling nothing beneath her fingertips, her bothered eyes opened to reveal the dampening truth of her loneliness, and Hinamori could only think to give a short exhale before diving under the comforter. Whatever delusional happiness might have influenced her actions was now gone.

Still, even though she'd receded as far beneath the blankets as she could Hinamori didn't find the dark she was hoping for. Unable to escape, and unable to explain the sudden feeling of emptiness, she settled for remaining motionless and staring aimlessly at her hands.

With her knees tucked around her and her warm breath trapped by the blankets it began to grow hot, so she kicked off one of the layers, brining a new level of light into her little cove where neither reality nor fantasy where allowed to enter.

"Blood?'

Now that her hands were more than mere outlines Hinamori was surprised to find what looked like the browned remnants of blood on the tips of her longest fingers.

Her curiosity aroused, the Shinigami Lieutenant sat up—blankets falling from her shoulders like water—and inspected the foreign color in the full glow of day.

'That _is_ blood…' Hinamori thought as she rubbed her fingers together, making some of the brown flake off and crumble away into a powder.

How did it get there was the next question.

When she carefully recalled the previous night Hinamori soon found a potential source: Hitsugaya's lips.

"Shiro-chan…"

She scooted off the tall bed and walked gingerly into the bathroom to wash her hands and face. 'Why were you hurt there?'

The hot water came quickly, gushing from the silver casing like a miniature waterfall, and as Hinamori washed away the remnants of the previous night's exchange she became entranced by that liquid movement. Watching the tiny streams that that large river had become branch out and run down into the little holes of the faucet, Hinamori came to a second realization. She fell asleep to Hitsugaya, and so, automatically, she had expected him to be there when she awoke.

It seemed odd that she would still have a trigger like that after so many years. After all, they hadn't slept anywhere near each other since their long lost childhood days. 'Perhaps in the hospital…though…it wouldn't count for me…'

Deciding that it wasn't something she could do anything about, and that it was much too early in the day to be thinking complicated thoughts, Hinamori set that discovery aside for another time.

Either way, her emptiness had been temporarily filled.

:o:o:o:

"Kiiiiiyaaah!" Came the loud battle cry from her opponent as he swung the wooden sword at her shoulder, his bulky arms coming crashing down from high above his head.

Hinamori blocked effectively, rolled to the side, and made an upsweeping cut at his exposed torso.

Too surprised to react, her sparing partner found himself more than justly defeated.

With a laugh he admitted: "You haven't lost it at all, Hinamori-san! Still fast as ever."

The complement never really reached the recipient, however, because Hinamori's mind was barely on the battle and certainly not on the comments of the people around her.

Luckily, by some default setting the young Lieutenant thanked him before resuming her stance and moved onto the next challenger in the mini-tournament the fifth division was holding to keep themselves preoccupied while all the rest of Soul Society seemed busy.

From what she'd learned of the goings on something very big was either happening or close to happening, and big events in Soul Society could only mean one thing: big battles.

Big battles meant injuries, trauma, and possible fatalities.

Hinamori was starting to realize the seriousness behind Toshiro's "goodbye" and had begun to regret her lack of consciousness during the solemn scene.

If she'd thought then that it might be the last time she would see her Shiro-chan…

'What would I have done differently?' Even now the question held a high position on her growing list of things to examine.

She vaguely remembered touching him, discovering the stitched lip…but then her memory became fuzzy.

More than a little frustrated with herself, Hinamori tried to straighten out that night by focusing on all the details she _did _know.

He'd been kneeling beside Mastumoto's tall, strange bed in that dark room. He touched her shoulder, then said he was leaving. He seemed…apologetic. She remembered being very tired, but stretching out her arm for him anyway, reaching forward to touch the damaged lip. Her fingers brushed against the thread and then…she wasn't sure, but Hinamori thought she'd felt a small push against her fingers.

But that wouldn't make any sense!

Not unless…

It had only been four days since her dismissal from the medical ward, and yet it seemed like so much had happened.

For the first time in all their long history together she had been seen naked by Toshiro. True, it had been one of the most embarrassing moments of her life but it hadn't felt all that unnatural.

Perhaps because they'd once lived together?

For the first time since they'd come to live in Seireitei he'd held her in his arms. Faced with the uncertainty of that tiny light and the traitorous world she'd felt so safe there, cradled in the hands of the youngest Captain in the Gohei 13.

When his chin settled against her forehead she had a clear view of his bare throat. Being vulnerable, exhausted, and overjoyed, what would she have done if Mastumoto hadn't come bursting into the room?

Last night when she'd reached out for him and brushed her fingers against his lip—suddenly, like a puzzle falling together she remembered—he'd kissed those fingers. If she hadn't been fighting off sleep what would she have done?

Perhaps…maybe…kiss back?

The wooden katana of the Fifth Division's Lieutenant went flying as she lost all interest and focus on the ongoing battle. Defeat was nothing compared to the discovery Hinamori had made just now.

"_Hinamori?" "Hinamori-chan? Are you alright?" "Hinamori!" "Lieutenant?" _

The concern of her teammates didn't reach the now deaf ears, for all Hinamori Momo could do was sit unorthodoxly on the ground and probe further into her mind for more answers.

As her head swirled like an unnatural whirlpool Hinamori became more and more hot and nervous.

What was that thought? Even after everything…that sort of reaction shouldn't be considered normal.

However, as she closed her eyes and reflected more deeply upon the scenes now replaying in her memory Hinamori began to see what had provoked it.

That little feeling, that tiny want, had always been there. She'd just never noticed it.

The small voice insider her, calling out for something more from Hitsugaya had been drowned out all these years because the rest of her screamed for Aizen-Taicho. Now Aizen was gone and that little voice had finally gotten some attention. A blush of significant size took its place on her cheeks as too many images of too many wasted—and now corrected—moments came raining down before of her eyes.

She should have tried harder to hold him during that argument.

She should have let the small distance disappear and kiss him as a 'thank you' for saving her life.

She should have allowed him more time to loo—

Then, just as suddenly as the epiphany of her long hidden want came over her so did a wave a disastrous nausea.

The battle against Aizen would be starting soon, might even be already going on. From what she'd learned about Arancar in the last few days it seemed like they did not fight fairly, and Hitsugaya had already taken down two of them. Perhaps their fellows would be eager for revenge.

He might not make it back…he could die, perhaps even be dead this very moment.

Breathing suddenly became a foreign function as Hinamori fell into a boiling sea of fear that she might never see her Shiro-chan again. She may never get the chance to eat watermelons with him again, or gaze at the stars, enjoy the fresh snowfall, get that overwhelming feeling of pride…and never live out her newly realized dream.

Hinamori gasped for breath, holding her hurting lungs with fists full of yukata, for as each new thought came into play it became harder and harder for her to breath regularly.

Everything she'd done to him, every hurt she'd laid upon that poor boy, she would never be able to apologize for any of it.

Her head jerked upward in one last attempt to take in a sufficient amount of oxygen and with wide eyes she saw it: that light was back in her life.

After being absent for so long it had suddenly returned.

Then, before she knew it there was darkness pooling in around her, the pain was leaving her, and Hinamori felt her body loose its earthly weight.

The mysterious light was the last thing to vanish from her vision.

:o:o:o:o:

"You were right to bring her down here, but rest assured she's perfectly fine."

"R-really?"

"She's been sick lately! Then…during practice she just…all of a sudden!"

"It was weird, we thought she'd chocked on something."

"Hinamori-san is lucky to have teammates like you who take such good care of her." The attending Fourth Division medic said with her warm smile tuned for full blast to melt the worried hearts of the concerned men standing in her Captain's office.

"She'll be alright, won't she?"

"Of course, just give her some time to rest."

Because her bed was close to Unohana's office Hinamori heard everything. She'd returned to consciousness shortly after being brought to the Fourth Division but pretended to sleep in the hopes of not having to talk with anyone. The carrying worry of her division couldn't penetrate the hopeless Hinamori now felt.

She'd tried, but couldn't think of anything she wanted to say. Not to them, not to the healers, not even to her closest friends. She just didn't have the energy.

The only person she wanted was Hitsugaya but he was away and fighting. Perhaps already locked in the thrill of battle, perhaps on the brink of defeat, perhaps…already dead…

The gloomy blue tinted shadows along the edge of the roof offered no comfort for her, though they were all Hinamori could bring herself to look at.

:o:o:

After a few hours of unnecessary but relatively painless tests Hinamori was finally released back into her own apartment. By that time most of her division had grown bored of waiting and gone off to do other things, and the three who remained were politely denied the privilege of walking her home.

Now she knew for sure that the war between the shinigami and the arrancar had begun, for even in Soul Society the air was heavy from all the high level reiatsu clashing together in the real world.

Hinamori tried to figure out which reiatsu belonged to who, struggled to find Hitsugaya's, but was unsuccessful because all that power was just a jumbled mass of indistinguishable density colliding like poisonous gases.

Thinking that the closer she was the source the more she would learn Hinamori set out on a long walk towards the gates of Seireitei. Her experiment, however, was quickly thwarted by the gate guards who were under strict orders to keep traffic at an absolute minimum. No bystanders—even if they _are_ Lieutenants—were allowed to linger on the premise.

Dejected, and feeling more helpless than ever, Hinamori settled for returning to her very vacant apartment. There she would sink with the weight of the clashing reiatsu and overwhelming guilt into an almost coma-like state.

First she sat on the couch, staring through the world instead of at it. Only when the light shifted did she move, falling over slowly to lie along the cushions.

When the chill of night came she got up and walked noiselessly through the dark space to find her futon and crawl silently inside it.

After a much too lengthy and tedious night the light from the rising sun finally peered in through the windows. Its rays traveling through the uncovered windows like a warm liquid designed to banish the chill of winter but was not strong enough to cast aside Hinamori's own cold season. She only continued her vigil over nothing and tried to remember whether she'd slept at all.

Like the rest of her existence, for some reason, Hinamori's stomach didn't feel the hunger of life.

Only the dramatic change in light with the shifting of one hour to another caught her attention, bringing Hinamori outside her thoughts and into the real world.

Without any real ambition the melancholy Shinigami decided to get up and see how much time had passed.

Slowly she lifted her head from the blankets, allowing them to slip from her shoulders like a discarded skin. Excruciatingly she brought herself to her knees, then to her feet, and when Hinamori's neck decided to do its part and hold her head high she saw something very unexpected.

That light.

That glowing thing which had brought so much trouble and so much opportunity over the past few days.

As if that floating orb were an everyday occurrence—which by now it rather was—Hinamori turned away nonchalantly toward the window. 'Almost sundown.'

How long had the battle been raging on now?

Two days.

How much more intense had the reiatsu become?

There was no way to tell.

Who had died and who had not?

'No, it's not good to think of such things.'

Hinamori was about to return to her comatose when she heard a stampede of feet just beyond her white walls. Not bothering with her appearance, the girl went to the door to see what the commotion was about.

A large group of shinigami, mixed in divisions, were running at high speed towards the outside.

"What's happened?" Hinamori called out to no one in particular, hoping for an answer.

Only one person stopped briefly, at the threat of being run over, to answer. "They're calling for backup at the gates to bring the wounded Captain's home!"

The brown haired girl's heart began to beat fast and painful inside her chest.

"Most of us are just going to see who survived!" Another chipped in as he dashed by.

"My bet's on Captain Fong being the least injured!" Came another random comment.

'Hitsugaya-kun!'

In a state similar to panic Hinamori rushed back inside her house, running around trying to get herself in a presentable state before taking off at high speeds towards the fourth division.

Getting to the gate, however, would prove to be much more trouble than she had original thought.

Since everyone in soul society seemed anxious to see how the Captain's had done they were all pushing and dashing around in the hallways, and Hinamori found herself either swept up and carried away with the closely packed crowd or unable to pass because of the traffic.

"Oh!"

A frustrating five minutes later showed very little progress, for the only thing that had happened was that Hinamori was now very lost and stuck up against a wall.

When she opened her eyes after the initial wince Hinamori noticed something very convenient if not surprising across the hall; The Tenth Division Office.

She looked around franticly for some way out of her current position and noticed that the crowd was beginning to thin out. Feeling hopeful, she decided to be the salmon swimming upstream. All she had to do was not get drawn away from the desired door.

When there was enough gap for her to shimmy and zigzag her way through the obnoxious crowd Hinamori took that chance at full speed, ripping through the few lingering shinigami to burst through the Tenth Division door as if her very life depended on getting inside that room.

"Hitsugaya Taicho?!" She called out eagerly, unable to stop herself. It wasn't until after the words had left her lips that she heard the sound of sobbing.

Scanning the room with eyes that grew more worried by the second, Hinamori quickly saw the source.

Rangiku Matsumoto sat with her face buried in her hands and her elbows jabbing into her knees. When she heard Hinamori's hopeful call she turned around, wiping the mournful water from her face, and began to stutter: "T-Taicho is…" sniffle "Tai" choke "cho is…"

Before she could get any further Mastumoto became overwhelmed with uncontrollable tears, leaving Hinamori's already strained imagination to run wild in a dangerous place.

"No…no…"

She looked first down, then from side to side, and finally back at Mastumoto. "H-he isn't…he could be! Not…not Shiro-chan…" As her words played on her voice became broken with the swelling sadness and growing despair inside her frail body.

"Oi."

Like the flashing beam from a lighthouse came that one little word, making Hinamori pivot on the spot.

"Can't you say my title correctly just once?"

As she hesitated, unsure if it was an illusion or not, Hinamori's lip trembled and her eyes became waterfalls.

When he blinked at her and became visibly uncomfortable she knew it had to be him and let herself loose upon the poor boy; throwing her arms around his waist and burying her head in his chest.

"Hitsugaya-kun!!"

Like a thermometer stuck in hot water Hitsugaya's pale completion quickly transformed into a bright red

From the corner of his eye he saw Mastumoto smile wildly and give him a much too proud looking thumbs up.

'She planned that…' The white haired captain thought with an inward sigh as placed his hands on his friend's shoulders and lead her back out the door and into the now very vacant hallway.

With the small but sturdy Captain guiding her Hinamori was gently lead into the nearest safe haven; the Tenth Division 'odds and ends' room. There, like the piles of old junk and battered equipment, they would not be disturbed.

Hitsugaya kept his hands settled on her shoulders, closing the sliding door with his heel instead, and in doing so effectively and officially cut them off from the rest of the world.

As they'd traveled Hinamori had been careful to hold in the noise of her sorrow and joy, but now allowed herself to sob away all her worries and anxieties into the familiarity of Hitsugaya's robes.

And Hitsugaya, in turn, who'd been restraining his needs as always, allowed himself to hold that sorrowful figure.

There was no denying the tiny smile that had pushed away the guilty concern he'd expressed just a few seconds ago as he wrapped his arms in full around her frame and pulled her as tightly into him as he could with agitating his injuries.

Hitsugaya knew he should be feeling sorry for causing her grief, or worried about how exhausted she'd looked, but all he could be at the moment was happy: happy and triumphant.

For the moment the battle was over—though the war would still rage on—and here he was with the person he loved most. What more could he ask for?

Suddenly, like a numbing interruption, those large, watery, and tired brown eyes were upon him like a spring loaded trap and his thoughts became a useless heap of jumbled words. She was too close, much too close for him to think clearly.

There was a small blush on Hinamori's checks and her hands trembled with nervousness as they were forced to stay firm around his sides.

There were many things she knew she must do, and the first was apologize for all the trouble she might have caused him in the now settled battle. If she didn't do that first then she could never hope to confess her recent revelation.

Reprimands had already been made with the "Captain" him, and now she had to do the same with the "him" that had always been a part of her hectic life.

"…Shiro-chan, I'm so, so sorry!" She shook her headed from side to side in a 'no', rejecting the part of her that had once wished for such a thing. " I never should have asked that horrible thing of you."

Hinamori forced herself to look into the eyes of the man she had damaged, no matter how embarrassed or painful it felt. "I didn't want you to try and save A…Aizen if it meant you getting hurt or killed. I c-can't believe I really said that to you…" Hinamori's hold on the shocked boy tightened ever so slightly as her fear of his indifference increased. "…and then never took it back. I should have said it before you left but I didn't, and then I wasn't sure if you were _coming_ back and—" sniffle "—and I'm so glad that you are!"

When he thought she might burst into a another round of tears Hitsugaya acted expeditiously; letting one hand loose from around her he brought her head in over his shoulder.

For a while he said nothing but held her fast in that one place as he tried to think of the best thing to say. The trembling of her small body made him anxious to find the right words quickly and say it perfectly.

"Don't worry about that." He finally uttered after a little less than a minute had gone by, settling on something not quite perfect.

"I'll do whatever I'm ordered to do when it comes to Aizen, you were tired them, and I—" A small set of fingers on his cheek brought Hitsugaya's words to an abrupt halt.

His deep green eyes pivoted downwards and saw the hurting girl just a few inches away.

"Anything?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed downward in a mix of mild anger and worry.

"If Yamamoto-Taicho gives the order." Was all he could stammer out.

"Even if it means dying?"

The word alone seemed to draw the water back to her eyes, and Hitsugaya had to think fast on his feet.

"Possibly."

The wrong answer apparently, for Hinamori's large brown eyes were now flooded with tears once again.

"Eh! W-well, there's really a very small chance of it coming to that! Rather—" The hand on his cheek moved, brushing against his jaw before settling in a cozy way over his sprinting heart.

"Please don't. Please, try your hardest not to die. Hitsugaya-k-kun…I…"

She seemed to be coming closer, closer, and the small Captain's world became a massive mess of Hinamori and the pain from his wounds.

"Hitsugaya-kun!!"

From far away it seemed she was calling him, and all he could do was answer groggily back. "Yes?"

:o:o:

When the darkness finally cleared from his vision Hitsugaya found himself lying flat on the floor. Upon closer inspection he realized that there was just an old training mat fighting the distance between his weakened body and the cold wood paneling.

Experimentally he wiggled his feet; they seemed to be working fine.

Then he tried to flex his hands; the left moved without problem though the right seemed to be blocked. He turned his head and saw why he'd been unable to move those particular fingers.

Curled up beside him like a cat, his hand enclosed in both her pale palms, was Hinamori, looking more than soundly asleep.

Outside the night was cool and blooming, telling him how long he'd been out.

With a small sigh he turned to her, thinking 'It wasn't even sunset when I found you…'

Guilt spread like a wildfire when he saw the stains of tears on her cheeks, followed fast by fear as he discovered the cold touched in her hands.

'Did I?...' Exploring further, Hitsugaya grabbed her wrists and found them in much the same condition. Now that he was wide awake he could see her shivering.

"Hinamori!" He wanted to sweep her into his arms but the pain from the wound across his lower torso left him unable to sit up let alone support someone else.

He wasn't leaking any reiatsu now, that he was sure of, so it must have been during his sleep.

"Hinamori!" The white haired captain tried to push himself up, taking on an expression and a wave of pain just in time for her to open her eyes.

"H...? Hitsugaya-kun!!"

One chilled hand went to his cheek while the other settled firmly on his shoulder, each doing a separate job in trying to shun the pain she saw clearly in his jade orbs.

Both parties seemed a bit shocked, a lot worried, and overwhelmingly apprehensive as Hinamori made the Captain lie down once again.

Her thumb worked on its own, by stroking the side of his face its intention was to calm him but it only aroused a deeper want inside Hitsugaya; a want to touch back.

Gingerly he moved his left hand upwards. Blindly he searched for that caressing hand until he found it. To his relief she seemed to be warming up.

"Hitsugaya kun…why aren't you in the hospital?" Came the interrupting and unexpected words of the girl beside him.

"Me?" Though his eyes looked tired he gave her a small, playful sort of smirk. "My injuries weren't life threatening, and the Fourth Division was already over-crowded, so I left."

"Over crowded?" She raised an eyebrow in question at his half truth.

His main reason for leaving the good care of the Unohana behind was his want to see the brown haired creature who now sat beside him.

"Yes. Many of the other division members collapsed from overusing their reiatsu to keep Kakuro town stable."

"Oh…Let me see."

"See?"

"Your injury!" Hinamori nearly squeaked out as she removed her hands.

A bit reluctantly, in an almost child like way, Hitsugaya pulled back the edges of his black hakama to show her the bandages zigzagging across his chest.

"Shiro-chan!" Hinamori yelped at the site of his beat up body.

He shrugged off the weight of her concern and the seriousness behind what would end up being a scar of intimidating length.

"You really shouldn't be here…"

When Hitsugaya thought that she might cry again his first reaction was to give her a smile and reach for the bangs along the side of her face. "Oi. It's not so bad, really, you should see Ichigo's friends."

"Ichigo?" The tilt of her head reminded him that Hinamori had yet to learn all the details of the "invader turned hero."

"I'll tell you later."

He gave the little strand of hair a small twirl, and in doing so allowed his hand to brush against her pale skin.

Just as he was about to apologize he saw something very unexpected in her eyes: embarrassment.

"H-Hinamori?"

All the wants accumulated over those long two days had been shunned away while the real thing was in her grasp, but now that Hinamori was sure that Hitsugaya's life was not in danger they were released again like a damn breaking after a extensive and heavy rain.

She closed her eyes and nudged the side of her head into his hand, rubbed her cheek against his palm like a cat greeting her master, and smiled.

It was the smile that threw Hitsugaya off the most. Perplexed and unsure of how to respond he lay frozen.

What did she want from him?

What_ didn't _she want from his was the better question to ask, for he was more afraid of offending her with an unwanted action than not giving her what she wanted.

In the end he settled for doing what she'd done earlier; he let his thumb brush down the smooth surface of her face in a sweet caress.

This seemed to satisfy her, because Hinamori's eyes opened again and she grabbed for his hand and held it.

Hitsugaya wasn't sure what to expect, but not in his most hopeful dreams could he have imagined what she was about to say—or rather, try and say.

"H-Hitsugaya…kun. I—um…I—that is…I think I l-l-l-l—." The harder she tried to express herself the brighter the blush on her visage grew. Her hands began to shake, and if she were standing her legs would be quivering too. "I-I!"

The white haired captain's eyes widened as he slowly picked up on what his long time friend and desperate love was trying to say.

Bwaha.

May edit later…

Tired for re-re-re-reading this chapter….


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